Tip#177: Learn To Stand Your Ground - Grizzly Man

Remember it's okay to get angry when confronted by challenging personalities. For some it is necessary to feel anger in order to become more assertive. Anger is still a form of passion and is powerful fuel you can tap into.

This is part 2 to my previous blog entry tip#176: The Good In Getting Your Buttons Pushed. It's about learning to stand your ground.

As I had written I was constantly challenged by a pushy personality that was stressing me out. This individual was always asserting his point of view and I had to always speak up to express my own needs.

This recent incident showed me how far I'd come to just speaking up for myself. Years ago I wouldn't have said anything because of fear. But by not saying anything I was really communicating to the other person that it was okay to "walk all over me".

When others push their point of view on you they violate your space. But it is your job to speak up and draw the line they cannot cross with you. Whether it is in your workplace or personal life you must learn to articulate your needs.

Grizzly Man

The irony and synchronicity of my recent confrontations was that this individual had given me a belated birthday gift of a DVD called Grizzly Man. It was a compelling and tragic documentary on grizzly bear activist Timothy Treadwell who lived among grizzlies in Alaska. It's a powerful portrait of a man who learned how to stand his ground with these wild, untamed animals.

Here’s what Treadwell says at the opening of the film:

"They're challenging everything including me. It goes with the territory. If I show weakness, if I retreat I may be hurt, I may be killed. I must hold my own if I'm gonna stay within this land. For once there is weakness they will exploit it, they will take me out, they will decapitate me, they will chop me up in bits and pieces. I'm dead. But so far I persevere."

This passionate statement could represent how you feel in a situation with a challenging relationship. And yet sometimes you have to get so riled up by your confrontations that you ultimately unleash your inner "grizzly bear" in order to stand your ground.

Life Is Like A Play

That's why I found it ironic that the messages of this DVD gift came from the same person who was pushing my buttons. It reminded me that certain people come into your life to push your buttons on purpose to trigger your inner strengths.

Life is like a play and they are there to say their lines AND get you to say yours. And if you don't find the courage to articulate your needs then someone else in the future will come into your life and push your buttons again.

So take action now and release that assertive energy already within you. See your challenging relationships as part of a play where you MUST say your lines. These individuals are there to help you be the empowered person you want to be. That's the biggest gift in getting your buttons pushed.

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#176: The Good in Getting Your Buttons Pushed - As Good As It Gets - Planes Trains and Automobiles

Traveling with friends or family can be an adventure and sometimes a pain. And if you can get past the interpersonal conflicts it can be a learning opportunity you can apply into your workplace as well. That's why it's important to remember that getting your buttons pushed is really a signal that you are about to discover something eye-opening about yourself.

The Boating Trip

I recently went on a 3 day boating trip with 3 friends. It was a reunion of sorts with great guys I used to go camping with regularly years ago. So there was a bit of testosterone shooting around on this trip!

The difference with this boating vacation and with camping was that we spent more time confined on a boat traveling for hours through the canals of the Trent-Severn Waterway. This meant more group time than alone time. And since I am primarily an introvert I needed more alone time to stay energized than the other extroverts in the group.

Extroverts & Introverts

As I wrote in tip#44: Extroverts, Introverts & Social Introverts, the basic explanation is that extroverts get energized by outside stimulus like activities with others and just being around people. Introverts, on the other hand, get energized by being in solitude and engaging in quieter activities. Therefore the boat trip slowly drained me of energy.

This led to being irritable, unfocused and argumentative with the most extroverted of my friends who was just feeding off the outdoor action. His extroverted personality was not only pushing my buttons it was draining me even further.

After the boating trip he would say he found the whole boating experience "relaxing" which was the opposite of my experience.

As Good As It Gets 1997

I am reminded about the road trip in one of my favourite movies, As Good As It Gets where differences in personality preferences clashed between the 3 characters played by Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt and Greg Kinnear. All the interactions were a big mirror for anyone who has ever taken a road trip with friends or family. Even the choice of what music to play in the car was an issue among Nicholson and Hunt's characters.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles 1987

I am also reminded of the classic road trip movie, Planes, Trains and Automobiles starring Steve Martin and John Candy. Hilarious and touching, this film shows how much the differences in personal preferences can push someone's buttons. And yet in the end both people become friends after Martin’s character develops compassion for his irritating traveling companion.

Understand Preferences

Clashes between extroverts and introverts is one important area we can all resolve if we just take time to learn about how each of us prefers to energize. There would be so many more productive interactions in the workplace and in our personal relationships if we understand each other more.

You can start by identifying your personal needs when being around others. Are you more introverted or extroverted? Build your self-awareness with your preferences in your comfort levels with others at work and at home. And when someone pushes your buttons remember they are secretly helping you to know yourself on a higher level.

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#175: See How Passion Becomes Magnetic - The Washington Post - 3 Movie Tips

Identifying and sharing your passion is a primary step to achieving your dreams. Indulging in your passion can become an incredible, magnetic force.

I wrote about the power of passion in tip#40 where I saw author Chris Gardner of the book and movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. Gardner said to the audience "Don't think about money, just keep doing what you love doing."

Other quotes that support this is "Do what you love and the money will follow." Well, as I've discovered, the money may not follow right away but the universe will definitely let you know you are on the right track. I've always received confirmation of this and recently got one in a big way.

The Washington Post

While googling my Motivatorman title online I discovered that this blog you are reading has been referenced on dozens of other sites. Then, to my surprise, I discovered that an article was written about me and my blog tips in The Washington Post. I was stunned at first and then was filled with overflowing positive emotional energy!

In the short article the writer referenced 3 websites and one of them was famed author and speaker Robin Sharma who wrote The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. I felt honoured to be included with this man and later even more excited because a business colleague pointed out that I got top billing over Sharma. Click here to read article.

This was automatic proof to what I teach in my motivational programs and what successful people around the world have been saying about following your passion. Following your passion is fuel for your drive to action and for connecting you with people who share your interests.

3 Examples of Movie Hero Passions

Think about the movie, Forrest Gump where Gump had a sudden urge to run from one side of the US to the other. His running attracted the press and then other people who were compelled to join his run.

See how Elle in the film Legally Blonde develops a passion for practicing law while up against prejudice towards her fashion preferences and bubbly personality. Despite her challenges she perseveres and her passion and conviction becomes magnetic attracting the support and encouragement she needs for greater success.

And see how boxer Jim Braddock fights with passion in the movie Cinderella Man. Based on a real life story during the great depression, Braddock's courage and perseverance becomes a symbol of hope for thousands of people in poverty. His passion inspires so many others to support his dream.

Make Your Passion Visible

So do your very best to follow your passions without question. Make your passions and personal interests visible so others can share in your excitement. Your passions will attract like-minded individuals and can also make a difference in someone's life.

All you have to do is indulge in whatever you truly enjoy. You will automatically radiate to the world an energy that is a powerful, magnetic force.

Read The Washington Post article: click here

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist & Motivational Wingman
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#174: Trust Your Inner Voice - The Happening - Hancock

Do you find that sometimes you are swayed from doing what you want by people around you? You allow others to tell you what is good for you even when you knew it wasn't. Your inner voice was talking to you but you chose not to listen. Over time you will realize that your inner voice is the voice you are meant to always trust.

This summer has been full of exciting movies. Some I've looked forward to seeing but allowed poor reviews to sway me away. Thankfully my inner voice won out and directed me to see these films.

The Happening

One of these movies was writer and director M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. I am so glad I didn't let the reviews convince me not to see this film because I enjoyed it on many levels. As the director described in interviews the film is like a high-end B-movie, a low-budget thriller/horror movie that would have played in a double feature in the past.

The story is about a family on the run from a crisis threatening humanity on a large scale. The violence and gore is depicted as both horrific and comedic as the mystery of the threat unfolds. The movie also deals with how society would respond to a mass crisis when the cause is not clearly defined.

And yet at the real core of this film is the relationship of the couple played by Mark Walberg and Zooey Deschanel. The humour and heart they bring to this dark story is what makes this movie powerful and uplifting.


Hancock

Another movie that got mixed reviews was Hancock starring Will Smith. This is a superhero movie with a different angle. Smith plays a superhero addicted to alcohol and struggling with destructive personal issues. The film is a mix of action, comedy and a serious look at a person who has lost his sense of purpose.

And like The Happening, Hancock is ultimately about people. This is not a typical superhero movie with a typical Hollywood ending and yet there are powerful and positive messages there if you allow yourself to hear the inner voice of the movie.

Hear The Core Messages

At the core of both these movies what shines through are the relationships about love and sacrifice. They are not typical Hollywood movies and that is the silver lining. These movies will take you where you least expected and provide little nuggets of gold to think about. Those nuggets could be what your inner voice was leading you to in the first place.

So listen to your inner voice when it is leading you to see certain movies or towards new and unknown directions in your life (see more in previous tip#173). Don't let others dictate what is good or not good for you.

Do listen to what others have to say and in the end choose what you feel is right for you. Learn to trust your inner voice and your own life story will unfold into a real action adventure!

Related Tips:
Tip#174: Trust Your Inner Voice Pt.1 – The Happening - Hancock
Tip#394: Trust Your Inner Voice Pt.2 - The Town
Tip#1031: Trust Your Inner Voice, Pt.3 – 3 Movie Tips  

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist & Motivational Wingman
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#173: Be Open To Synchronistic Messages - P.S. I Love You

The universe is always sending you signs and clues to accelerate you towards what you want in life. Just stay open to the synchronistic messages that fall into your lap.

P.S. I Love You

I always wanted to see the movie called P.S. I Love You because I loved the poster and the concept that a loved one who's died can continue to help you. I didn't see the movie when it was released partly because of the overwhelming poor reviews it received. Now I know it was just timing because I just saw it and it made a positive impact at the right time.

The movie does have its flaws but does have its strengths. It is an unusual love story starring Hilary Swank as Holly who struggles to get over the death of her husband Gerry played by Gerard Butler. Before Gerry died he planned 10 letters to be sent to Holly to help her deal with his death and plan a new life. The movie was a powerful message about receiving messages.

Synchronicity is all about identifying meaningful coincidences. Gerry's messages were like a metaphor for synchronicity and for how the universe is always in action sending you signs and clues to help you towards your goals. You just have to be open and act upon the signs that appear.

Acting on Signs

I finally saw P.S. I Love You only after a friend said how much she enjoyed the movie. I asked why and she said because it's a story about self-discovery. The way my friend said that simple explanation triggered something inside me alerting me that it was time to watch this movie. It was a sign.

What unfolded was an entertaining movie experience that also did what my passion for movies always does. I was filled with positive emotional energy. It lifted my spirit and reminded me that synchronicities are real and always helping me to move as fast as I can towards my dreams and goals.

Stay Alert

So stay alert in your own life for signs and clues that are answering the questions you've been thinking about. Remember that your mind is powerful and telegraphing your thoughts out into the world. It is sending out calls for help and the universe is always responding.

Stay open to the synchronistic messages that come to you. Take action for the direction it points you towards. Have faith that these unknown directions are where you are meant to go. Have courage and you'll take a big leap forward in discovering your full potential.

"Look for it. Find that thing that makes you like nobody else. I'll help. Look for a sign."
A letter from Gerry to Holly
P.S. I Love You

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist & Motivational Wingman
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#172: Cultivate Community, Part 1 - Witness

Impersonal attitudes in a big city can sometimes deaden our need for community spirit. So it is more important than ever not to stay locked in our iPod worlds and keep people around us shut out. Cultivating community is key to keeping our own spirits alive.

Witness (1985)

Recently I happened to catch a movie I haven't seen in years called Witness starring Harrison Ford as police officer John Book. Book is a good cop needing to hideout in an Amish community to protect himself and a young Amish boy. What unfolded was a refreshing break from the overwhelming noise and technology of a big city where green fields ruled and blue skies were clean and clear.

The Amish community represented the back to basics approach to living and Book was eventually able to fit in. There is a scene where the community joins in for a "barn raising" day to help a new couple build their first barn. The spirit of neighborly love was so strong in this scene. You see every man, woman and child contribute in some meaningful and joyful way.

The movie was a great reminder that this same sense of community must be kept alive in a big city. As mentioned in tip#150 How Full Is Your Bucket?, it's about filling each other's bucket with positive energy. That energy builds positive emotions for feeling good and can create many positive outcomes.

The Blackout of Summer 2003

The blackout of summer 2003 was a memorable instigator of positive emotional energy. In my downtown Toronto location it brought business neighbours together and vibrant conversations were alive for days. Other neighborhoods got to know each other through daily barbecues to cook food that couldn't be refrigerated anymore.

The silver lining of community disasters is that they can bring out the compassionate, human side of people. Meaningful connections can be made quickly.

So let's not wait for local disasters to hit us in order to practice a sense of community right now. Take the time to notice the people you see on a regular basis. Make friendly eye contact and give a simple smile when you can. Start filling each other's buckets with positive energy. You may be pleasantly surprised to find what one friendly hello can initiate.

Related Tips:
Tip#172: Cultivate Community, Part 1 – Witness
Tip#651: Cultivate Community, Part 2 - Defiance
Tip#656: Cultivate Community, Part 3 – Swapsity - Phenomenon 
Tip#658: Cultivate Community, Part 4 – Into the White
Tip#668: Cultivate Community, Part 5 – Be Kind Rewind 
Tip#686: Cultivate Community, Part 6 – Ip Man
Tip#687: Cultivate Community, Part 7 – Rotary Club - Groundhog Day
Tip#707: Cultivate Community, Part 8 – Movie Nights - Christmas in Connecticut
Tip#781: Cultivate Community, Part 9 - The Hundred-Foot Journey
Tip#853: Cultivate Community, Part 10 - Endurance - McFarland, USA
Tip#41: Recognize The Support Around You
Tip#137: Nurture Good Friends
Tip#138: Leverage What You Have


Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist & Motivational Wingman
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#171: Seize Your Windows of Opportunity - Back To The Future Part III

Windows of opportunity open and close all the time. That's why it's important to seize these moments because they're the keys to altering your present and creating a more positive future.

My life and career continue to alter in so many exciting ways since attending the Millionaire Mind Intensive 2 weeks ago (see tip#169). New career opportunities had rapidly manifested and I've been moving beyond old sub-conscious barriers. I owe it to having seized the open windows that the 3 day program created for me.

External Motivation Is Temporary

Like all motivational resources and programs your positive emotional energy can be increased for you to take action with challenges. And what usually happens is you feel a drop in motivation after a couple of days or weeks thus closing a window of opportunity to set certain actions into motion. As behavioral researcher and author Shad Helmstetter says, "All external motivation is temporary."

One example of a window of opportunity opened by the Millionaire Mind Intensive was that of putting closure with individuals in our lives that caused us harm. It was facilitated in a way where we were guided through steps necessary for letting go of the past in order to move forward.

I took it further and after the Intensive wrote 2 email messages to people I needed to put closure on. The first message I quickly emailed and felt incredibly free. The second I sat on for several days. What I realized was I could feel that window of opportunity closing and my motivation and confidence dissipating to send the message. Old habits and fears crept in.

Thankfully I finally took action and sent the email a week later and I felt liberated. My action in the present had now altered my future for the better.

Back To The Future Part III

During the time I procrastinated on sending the message I caught a favourite movie on TV called Back To The Future Part III starring Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly. Once again synchronicity guided me to see a movie that provided help because it was about Marty seizing the moment and learning not to react irrationally whenever anyone called him a coward or chicken.

Though it was difficult, Marty learned to control his rage at key situations and not be lured into a destructive confrontation. He realized his old habitual actions in the present would have created even worse results in the future.

In the end he chooses not to drag race with bullies that called him chicken. This would have led him to an inevitable and severe car accident. Marty, instead, created a brighter future for himself and others just by seizing his window of opportunity.

Do Your Best

So do your best to take action when you are feeling energized and motivated. Be aware that you are in the process of changing your mindset to take more control of your life and accelerating your path to success. Be in the present and recognize your windows of opportunity.

Remember that fear is in the future. Fear is about something that hasn't happened yet so stop focusing on it. Focus on what you can do this very second and you will create for yourself a more shining future.

"Your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is whatever you make it so make it a good one!"
Doc, Back To The Future III

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist & Motivational Wingman
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008

Tip#170: Take Control of Your Life Now! - Wanted

Are you sick about the life you are leading? Are you tired of being walked all over at work? Feel stuck about doing anything about it? Well sometimes you need an explosive kick in your ass to make a positive change.

A Shot of Testosterone

The Millionaire Mind Intensive I recently attended (see tip#169) was a real kick in my pants that catapulted me into facing my sub-conscious blocks and pushed me out of my comfort zone. When they called it intensive they mean intensive! It was like getting a shot of testosterone from the back-to-back schedule of the personal development program and the energetic trainers on stage.

Creator of the program, T. Harv Eker was full of assertive energy with a voice that exploded in volume and intensity whenever he was making a point in his speeches. He was like a spiritual drill sergeant and I knew my soul needed to hear and feel the vibration of his aggressive teachings.

I knew my life and career needed this testosterone to shake up my sub-conscious barriers so I could get to work transforming my old mindsets and accelerate successes in my career. It's like what I wrote about of my energizing trip to New York City back in September (see tip#90). Sometimes you need a shot of testosterone energy to jump start your inner drive.

Wanted

So it was deeply uncanny that I chose to see the new movie Wanted recently starring Angelina Jolie and Jame McAvoy because it mirrored the testosterone shot I am writing about. This is a riveting, high action movie with much violence and profanity that will also make you think about getting unstuck in your own life. It is the most unlikely yet thought provoking self-help movie because of its action movie nature.

The hero Wesley, played by McAvoy, is introduced to us as one of the many workers within a corporation who doesn't have the courage to stand up to his abusive boss, his life-draining job or his cheating girlfriend. Then he gets a chance to change his life by getting pushed out of his comfort zones.

Wesley was thrown into new training that is highly unorthodox and yet highly effective. At one point he is pushed mentally and physically over the edge to finally admit, "I don't know who I am." His trainers were pleased because now he was an "empty cup" ready to be reprogrammed to release his true gifts, self-confidence and sense of purpose. He was now at the start of taking control of his life.

Break Out Now

So let this movie or other motivational resources push you and trigger your passion energy. Remember passion is a strong feeling or emotion like love or anger that can jump start you to take control of your own life. Let yourself get sick and tired of all the problems that are sucking the life out of you.

Know that you can break out of a lifetime of negative habits if you have the guts to do something about it. And know that breaking out of your comfort zone could ultimately lead to an alternate life full of new experiences, new joy and a new, exhilarating sense of purpose!

"Why do they call you The Repairman?"
Wesley (to one of his trainers in Wanted)

"Because I repair a lifetime of habits."
Repairman

Emmanuel Lopez
Motivational Specialist & Motivational Wingman
www.motivatorman.com
© Emmanuel Lopez 2008