Sunday, July 22, 2007

Tip#74: Rebuilding Your Self-Worth, Part 1 - 2 Movie Tips

Give Yourself Time

Toxic relationships can sap your energy and rob you of your self-esteem. And long term relationships that end for whatever reasons can leave you doubting your value as a person. Whether these relationships are personal or professional the painful endings can leave you questioning your self-worth. But if you learn to believe in your value again you can transform your dark state like a dazzling butterfly.

I have a good friend whom I've had the pleasure in witnessing a rebirth in his spirit. About two years ago he had a breakup with a long term girlfriend that left him depressed and self-confidence shattered. I did not know any of this at the time but I could see it in his face, his stooped posture and his low energy.

I believe fate brought us together at that time so I could help him by sharing invitations to social events to keep his spirit socially active. I'm sure it was a challenge for him at times but he persevered. So within the last 6 months I began to see a more optimistic side to him. Others saw this transformation too. He smiled and laughed more and he even walked with more of a bounce. He shined!

The solution was giving himself time. Time heals all and it can sometimes be a long process to fully let go of relationships. Even if the person isn't physically in your life their energy can still be attached to you like invisible tentacles and weights. Time helps to flush out those unwanted, residual memories out of your body and mind that are no longer good for you. My friend kept moving forward and had emerged from his re-energizing cocoon like a vibrant butterfly.

Notting Hill (1999)

There is a brilliant sequence that illustrates time healing in the romantic comedy film, Notting Hillstarring Hugh Grant. After he is rejected by the woman he loves, Grant's depressed character is seen walking through his neighborhood street market. In one camera shot you see the seasons magically change around him to show the passage of time. By the time spring returns he is smiling again and saying hello to a newborn baby and his mother who was shown only pregnant at the beginning of the sequence.

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

The romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sallystars Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal and is about two friends who, after many years, cross the line and become lovers. Though Crystal's character starts off obnoxious you later feel his pain after he has a relationship breakup. His depression was exposed for the world to see on his face, in his broken voice and how he held himself in public. But people eventually bounce back and Crystal's character later comes back to life. All he had to do was have a supportive friend and to just keep on living one day at a time.

Transitions take time and the best gift you can give yourself are unconditional parameters to keep moving forward. Be with the residual pain and float like a cork down your path in life. Find at least one person who believes in your value when you don't have the energy to do so. There is always someone somewhere ready to lend support if only you let them and their supportive words in.

So whether you have parted from a painful work relationship or one that was personal be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. Know that a new you is percolating within. New, stronger wings are growing inside you. Know that one day you'll be smiling and laughing again.

"Tragedy plus time equals comedy."
Woody Allen

For Part 2: Click here
For Part 3: Click here

Emmanuel Lopez
Life Skills & Career Development
© Emmanuel Lopez 2007

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I do feel like a cork floating right now and in transition forming new colorful wings. I feel exhausted though and in much need of rest. So I’m taking most of next week off… purging the old and pampering myself.